Shades of Billy Beer!

First Dude Todd Palin has been an offered an endorsement deal with Caribaya Rum, which informed him that he "would become a sex symbol to the millions of women that enjoy our product."

Wow if the flavor of mango flavored rum doesn’t make you puke, the mental image of Todd "the Rum God" Palin revealing his bare pale chest, clad only in Hawaiian boxer shorts, reclining in a pile of Caribaya bottles will.

You can’t unsee that can you?…bowhahahahah

Dear Todd:
I would like to take this opportunity to express my congratulations on being the nation’s "newest hottie." We at Caribaya Rums are searching for a product supermodel to be placed on billboards and ads across the nation.

We would like to make an offer to you about representing our rum products. We at Caribaya Rums think that you would become a sex symbol to the millions of women that enjoy our product, as well as become the new face in the advertising world. Even though you live in the land of cold, we are sure that you would melt the tons of hearts that see this ad.
Celebrities and politicians provide the best exposure for product sales. Look what former U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole did for Viagra. If your wife moves to Washington, you might be looking for a new job. Our ads appear on the back of every New York City bus.
Since our product comes from the tropical islands, our Madison Avenue team feels that a possible ad can have you revealing your bare chest, dressed in Hawaiian boxer shorts, surrounded by our rum.
Thank you for your anticipated review of this request. Should you accept an offer from us we know that Alaska ‘s "first dude" will be the most popular spouse in the world.
Sincerely,

Martin Silver. President and CEO

[via Jossip]