In order to uncover the Vast Leftwing Conspiracy suppressing An American Carol, I went to Mann’s Chinese 6-plex in heart of that liberal bastion, Hollywood. Certainly, what with Hollywood being right-hater central, Carol should be seeing some full-on screwing-with.

But no. There it was on the marquee.  There is was printed out my ticket stub. And there I was with two senior citizens, the three of us sitting 23 rows apart in the second-largest theater in the 6-plex. We were the only customers. No one laughed during the entire 83 minutes. It’s a thankfully short movie, and while Rush Windbag often quotes Oscar Wilde in saying "Brevity is the soul of wit," An American Carol disproves this. Repeatedly.

The oddest thing though: One joke repeated several times is that the Islamic terrorists come up with the $10 million to fund their propaganda film from the profits a very good opium harvest. And the terrorist leader admits sneaking  into the US via Mexico. Sorta like this story in the New York Times. Has Homeland Security been getting their briefings from matinee movies?! If so, I hope they take a hint from Body of Lies (working title: Penetration) and hire some really hunky agents.

Oh and Carol’s much vaunted slave joke uttered by Gary Coleman?  "Barack" been replaced with "President Mandela"